THE GUARDIAN

Just today at the cemetery, the gang that blew up the balcony on Morton Street came to get their revenge by throwing smoke grenades all over the cemetery. They then proceeded to take hostages. Thankfully, Officer Morgan was in the washroom at the time of the raid and came out to find all of them. He then single-handedly took out all the invaders. There were no deaths on that day, and Officer Morgan has now been promoted to 'The Melon Lord'. Jeremy got an exclusive interview with him [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ). The seven invaders have now been put in jail for 6 years. That is all for tonight, and remember to tune in on Wednesdays for karaoke night.